The wind blows, the rain falls, the grass yet AGAIN fails to be cut, the allotment remains un-dug - how to embrace spring when all it wants to do is wee on us from a great height?
In the great BBC tradition of slow news days, we were treated to old-wives remedies for snoring this morning, and I have to say, if old wives were the go-to gals for medicine and marital support in ye olden times, it's a surprise that any of us are alive at all. I present to you - ANTI-SNORE CURE 101:
A bowl of water under the bed
Toothpaste under the nose
A spoonful of horseradish
Gargling with garlic water
The list goes on, and apart from the first (useless) item, they all appear to be designed to make it more likely that Goodhusband Pig-Sty Keeper of Ye Olde Canterbury Towne slept alone and therefore bothered no-one with his unholy night time racket.
In that case maybe the old wives knew a thing or two about keeping marriages content - if something can be changed, change it. If something cannot be changed, move into another room (or gargle with garlic).
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