Gimme All Your Loving

Happy Valentine's Day World!

I Can See for Miles and Miles...

Jazz Fan

In an attempt to improve myself, I have paid close attention to the 1000 Albums You Must Listen to Before You Die,and have downloaded Miles Davis "Bitches Brew" and am currently listening to it.

Maybe listening to it is the wrong phrase to use. Maybe suffering through it would be better. I keep telling myself that jazz is supposed to be difficult to understand, and that maybe like classical music it gets easier with each listen. However, the current track "Feio" (a mere 11.50 long) features a noise like grinding teeth, no discernable tune or rhythm and a lot of random fart sounds.

Jazz Spam

Oh well, I tried. Maybe I should just accept the fact that I am designed for the simpler and less synopated things in life.  I think I'll stick to grunge, 80's bubblegum pop and the occasional 1960's girl group-fest for my musical jollies and leave the jazz to chin stroking weirdy beardies.

I Have Seen the Future..

and after an epic binge on Deep Space 9, the future looks weirdly like the present but slightly off. Case in point - the humble mug. A design classic, unchanged since pretty much the dawn on time. It holds liquid, it does this very efficiently - why change it? BECAUSE IT IS  NOT SPACEY ENOUGH.

Exhibit B

Exihbit A

Exhibit D

Exhibit C

See the subtle difference? That's the added futuristic spaciness. In fact, why have a boring old book, when you can have a book that looks like a walnut that apparently lives on a bathmat? Come on people, embrace the 26th Century! This could become an obsession....

How to Avoid Writers Block

I can't imagine that, after a daily diet of all this, Hunter S Thompson experienced blockages of any kind whatsoever....I am exhausted just thinking about this.

The Perfect Diet

I don' think you're ready for this jelly. Or ever will be.

Food looking just too tasty?
Find those pounds piling on after Christmas?
Having to shop in circus tent outlets?

STOP! Just take a long, hard, mentally scarring look at these 1970's Weight Watchers recipe cards and then thank the Maker that we live in 2013.

The most correct use of ding dings ever.

The Carmen Miranda Frankfurter Spectacular -Live at the  Dunes Casino!!!

Dear Lord, please tell me you're not supposed the DRINK this - let those chunks just slide down your gullet.
 Oh and would you like a cup of tar with your brain on a plate...yum yum.

Is There Anybody There?

I feel like I am indulging in a spot of table-tipping - in a moment of optimism I emailed a very good old friend of mine who (I think) is currently living in Chicago, to invite him to the awesome event of my 40th birthday.

The advent of email and instant communication has made everyone gasp for instant gratification; never mind the fact he has a job, a wife, hobbies and, oh what's that thing called? Oh yeah, a life, I am angered not to have received a reply yet!

We should all count ourselves lucky that we don't have to wait 6 years for a letter from America, we don't have to endure a 3 day journey when we want to get to London (maybe), and we don't have to wait for the right wind to blow our pigeons in the correct direction - we don't know we're bloody born.

In Your Face, Mayan Doomsayers!

Everyone cuddle - the world's ending!

Phew...well, that was a close one, and when I say close, obviously I mean that in this day and age we should probably take the word of a nation of South Americans who thought ritual bloodletting was the height of sophistication with a large pinch of salt (as per government health guidelines of course).

Anyhoo, here we are in good old 2013. No Olympics to look forward to. No Jubilee. No American Election. God, what's the point?

Screw that - let's dance!!

Fear not planet! There is always something to be excited about. However in the dim dark days of January, when the whole country appears to be on a massive sugar/ cheese/ turkey/ mince pie downer, it is hard to look forward to a great deal.

The Six Nations obviously features highly in the Husband's diary for 2013 - a couple of weeks of bellowing and despair.

Maybe that's how the Mayan's imagined the world would sound like at the end.....