And so it goes...

As Uncle Vonnegut might say. The rain continues to pound down on Blighty like a biblical disaster, or at least that's how some would see it. I would however like to point out it's February, we're in Britain, it rains. Get over it.

Look, gender seperate!

Luckily, we have heard no more nonsense from the UKIP twit who opined the weather could be blamed on God's judgement on those lucky few enjoying gay marriage for the first time, y' know, ever. Good job it's never rained before now eh? Hold on a moment...it has! Who gets the blame for that then ?

Behold, a list of possible suspects.

The Hittites - golden calf botherers
The Hugenots - Spinning Jenny botherers
The French - blighty coastline botherers
The Germans - overhead botherers
The Eastern Europeans - vegetable picking botherers

All of whom as an excuse for  bad weather are as nonsensical as saying the a heatwave is the responsibility of Martha Reeve and Vandellas getting too cosy with a salamader. Twaddle.

UKIP - Utterly Knackers Inspired by Panophobia (aka melacholia marked by groundless fears).

I thank you.

It's Alive, It's Alive!

Yawn.

I'm back baby, yeah! No real idea why I went into hiding for 6 months.  I can assure everyone that I was not in prison, on the run, in a coma, or in witness protection. I've just had a quick look back and all I can tell is I was very warm and crotchety. Now I'm just crotchety.

However, as Blightly malingers under water, water everywhere, and America freezes, it seems like an appropiate time to catch up with (all) my loyal reader.....wait, something will come to my mind  any...minute....now.

Damn. I think I worked out why I bowed out of mundi de blog, and opted for a life of sofa bound contemplation like a modern day stylite. I am just dull. Duller than dull. Duller than Allen Dulles. Duller than Duluth, the only city that proudly proclaims it has 4 seasons. Wow. Those crazy guys.

I am however overjoyed in my boringness, I revel in mediocrity, I cavort in the shallows of the tedious and kick sand in the face of excitement. I should live in Boring, Oregon (twinned with Dull, Scotland); which started out as a bit of a lark, but now I'm not so sure... LOOK WHAT THEIR FOOTBALL TEAM IS CALLED! IT WAS MEANT TO BE!...wait, now I need to sit down due to momentary interestingness.. deep breaths, calm blue ocean, pass the paper bag...