We Chose to Take a Selfie, Not Becuase We Are Sleazy, But Because We Have Style

To coin a phrase, that's the way to do it.

Mmmmm..that smell

How Times Change

It's 1961. You are part of an enormous government organisation. You (not that you know it) are about to be told, by executive order, to make it to the moon by the end of the decade.

Pressure on.

UNLEASH THE BLACKBOARD!!!! (heart melts a little.....:-)

And so it goes...

As Uncle Vonnegut might say. The rain continues to pound down on Blighty like a biblical disaster, or at least that's how some would see it. I would however like to point out it's February, we're in Britain, it rains. Get over it.

Look, gender seperate!

Luckily, we have heard no more nonsense from the UKIP twit who opined the weather could be blamed on God's judgement on those lucky few enjoying gay marriage for the first time, y' know, ever. Good job it's never rained before now eh? Hold on a moment...it has! Who gets the blame for that then ?

Behold, a list of possible suspects.

The Hittites - golden calf botherers
The Hugenots - Spinning Jenny botherers
The French - blighty coastline botherers
The Germans - overhead botherers
The Eastern Europeans - vegetable picking botherers

All of whom as an excuse for  bad weather are as nonsensical as saying the a heatwave is the responsibility of Martha Reeve and Vandellas getting too cosy with a salamader. Twaddle.

UKIP - Utterly Knackers Inspired by Panophobia (aka melacholia marked by groundless fears).

I thank you.

It's Alive, It's Alive!

Yawn.

I'm back baby, yeah! No real idea why I went into hiding for 6 months.  I can assure everyone that I was not in prison, on the run, in a coma, or in witness protection. I've just had a quick look back and all I can tell is I was very warm and crotchety. Now I'm just crotchety.

However, as Blightly malingers under water, water everywhere, and America freezes, it seems like an appropiate time to catch up with (all) my loyal reader.....wait, something will come to my mind  any...minute....now.

Damn. I think I worked out why I bowed out of mundi de blog, and opted for a life of sofa bound contemplation like a modern day stylite. I am just dull. Duller than dull. Duller than Allen Dulles. Duller than Duluth, the only city that proudly proclaims it has 4 seasons. Wow. Those crazy guys.

I am however overjoyed in my boringness, I revel in mediocrity, I cavort in the shallows of the tedious and kick sand in the face of excitement. I should live in Boring, Oregon (twinned with Dull, Scotland); which started out as a bit of a lark, but now I'm not so sure... LOOK WHAT THEIR FOOTBALL TEAM IS CALLED! IT WAS MEANT TO BE!...wait, now I need to sit down due to momentary interestingness.. deep breaths, calm blue ocean, pass the paper bag...

Aaah those were the days (Part 9,142)

In the series of observations on how the modern world blows and everything of yesteryore was glorious, witness the wonder of ECONOMY (!!!) class in 1960, and tell me in all seriousness that you would settle for Easyjet?

I rest my case

Things that make you go Bleargh

Dear old Mr Handy has started to produce a bucket list on his blog. I have decided to do the same thing, however this is a bucket list of things I will never do, as they would make me sick. In a bucket.

Saves the embaressment of other "accidents"

Eat brains. I'd rather starve, even if I were a zombie

Watch Coronation Street.

Watch Eastenders

Watch Simon Cowell

Watch ITV. 

Go wing-walking, for a variety of reasons, primarily because no-one wants to see a shaved bear in a cowgirl outift flying along withe greatest of ease while shitting her considerable pants. No-one ever.

Try a Thousand Year Old Egg - chinese delicacy my eye, it's a rotten, green egg, and that's that.

Skydive (see above for pant related reasons)

Abseil (ditto)

Bungee Jump (and again)

Hold a spider, of any size or description. Too many eyes by 6, too many legs by 4. Nuff said

I'm sure the list will continue to expand, but for now I leave it at that. I would rather like to leave the house occassionally and not be confronted with a crowd of unmentionables (wing-walking spiders showering me with rotten eggs maybe - could happen.....)